This is the biggest scoop Sci-Fi Today, or any other publication, has ever had or will ever have. It seems that the SETI@home team’s recent re-examination of the top candidate signals at the Arecibo Observatory was not as fruitless as first reported. In a private telephone conversation, a member of the SETI@home research team (who wishes to remain anonymous) told Sci-Fi Today that after a more thorough analysis of the new data back in Berkely, they have discovered a signal that is unquestionably artificial in nature. What’s more, it originates from Alpha Centauri–the closest star system to Earth, only 4.3 light-years away. What’s more…it’s in English.
“I was late for work that morning. I knew something was up when two men in black suits and sunglasses barred me from entering the building,” said the SETI@home researcher, both excitement and nervousness evident in his voice. “After finally convincing them I worked here, I went up to the lab to find more men in black and military people everywhere. My boss was tweaking the equipment along with one of my colleagues, listening to a lot of static and a barely distinguishable voice. The rest of us weren’t allowed in so we were hopping up and down trying to see past the soldiers and sharing what little info we had with each other. We all knew what must be going on, but nobody would answer any questions. All of a sudden the static coming from the speakers cleared right up and the voice became very clear. The guy next to me fainted when he heard the unmistakable British accent. I was only able to catch a bit of what was being said before they ushered us all into the hall and shut the door. Something about a planning board…interstellar bypass…demolition of Earth…I’m not sure. Doesn’t matter. The important thing is that we’ve made contact! An actual, honest-to-God message sent specifically to us from aliens! And from our closest neighbours too–if the Alpha Centaurians have advanced engine technology, they could be here in person in just a few years. Or maybe even sooner, if they left awhile ago. Isn’t that exciting? I mean…wow. I’ve got goosebumps.”
The SETI@home website is still silent on this monumental event. As is the SETI Institute’s website, the Arecibo Observatory website and the Planetary Society’s website. But now that Sci-Fi Today has blown this story wide open, you can bet you’ll hear more about this everywhere soon.
I expect the web masters in question have been incapacitated by exposure to Vogon poetry; good thing you heard about this only indirectly!
Let’s just keep an eye on the dolphins, though, ok?
Given the date of this post, I am not at all surprised. Imagine if something major actually did occur on April 1st…
Unfortunately I do not think this one will make it into the top 100, but maybe I suppose it could still get picked up by a major news source.
… that they are mostly harmless.
Well, all I need is my towel, my Babel Fish, my book with don’t panic on it and of course my Sub Etha thumb. Ford prefect would be real handy right now, but i know my limitations.
The comments here reflect what I think needs to be done. In summary I think that the Planetary Society needs to think in terms of 250 “countries” rather than 200.