Deadly Black Hole In Minnesota: “No Spaceships Down There”

There’s a black hole in Brainerd, Minnesota that remains a deep mystery despite in-depth research performed last week. The 2,100-by-400-foot “black hole” first appeared in the ice of North Long Lake last winter and returned this year. Since then more than a dozen snowmobilers have fallen in; one died. Ongoing efforts costing over $10,000 have had divers measure currents, water temperature, dissolved oxygen, pH content, conductivity and other environmental factors. No cause for the highly unusual phenomenon has surfaced. The Crow Wing County Sheriff’s Department had a Hovercraft on hand for emergency rescue during last week’s diver operations, but the only rescue it made was of a portable fish house that had been set up as a warming house for the divers. A gust of wind (or a sudden burst of gravitational attraction?) caught the house and blew (sucked?) it onto the black hole. “Saw a few fish, some snails, weeds, pretty typical stuff so far,” said Todd Matthies, the first diver to investigate the hole. “There were no spaceships down there.” At the Sportland Cafe, a combination gas station, diner and convenience store, conversation centers on the mystery. Says one man in coveralls between bites of his waffle, “It could be aliens or someone’s septic backing up”.